Loneliness is like the cancer of the modern world, to parse Mother Teresa. We are not alone. We are all interconnected, interdependent and interwoven — inter-being, to use venerable Thich Nhat Han’s felicitous phrase. We are all alone here together, with all beings, all things great and small, visible and invisible.
In my latest book, Make Me One With Everything, I share the following story which was relayed by a Tibetan Buddhist teacher, and illustrates to me the incredible value of inter-meditation in our fragmented, plugged in, tuned-out & cacophonous times.
I was at a retreat in Carmel, California with Tibetan Buddhist teacher Anam Thubten Rinpoche. During one of his talks, a woman in the audience asked him a searing question: “What should I do with the great fear I experience?” For several months, she had noticed that the medication for her bipolar disorder was no longer effective. Several doctors confirmed that this was the case and that Western medicine likely had nothing more to offer her. She had been in therapy on and off for many years, and more recently had tried all manner of alternative approaches, but her mood swings were increasing in frequency, as well as becoming more intense.
The woman spoke to Rinpoche about her terrible uncertainty for her sanity, and after a few words he invited her to come close and sit facing him. By the time she had shared all she needed to, her eyes were full of tears. Rinpoche remained silent for a minute, and then quietly said, “Your suffering is mine. Your fear is mine.” Many of us gasped at the exquisite and tender beauty of his response. And there were tears in his eyes as well as he added, “You are not alone.”
We constantly face challenging situations, in our daily lives, that often lead us to buy into the illusion that we are alone, small, and insignificant. This teaching tale and interchange beautifully represents what it means to be in the present moment, connecting to another and allowing all-encompassing compassion and surrender to flow back and forth with no boundaries—a mutual reciprocity and resonation, which I have coined inter-meditation. My Buddhist Dzogchen lineage would call this the Natural Great Perfection in action. It is a living example of healing and awakening together, and shows us that love does not come from outside of us, not really. Genuine love comes from loving. Love is self-perpetuating and a gift that keeps on giving. Love is a verb; I love it! Infinite love is both enlightenment and our birthright. Love is who and what we are and can be.
