Times of transition and challenge can prove to be extraordinarily important to the inner alchemy of spiritual transformation. Tibetan Buddhists, including the Dalai Lama, often quote from the ancient Mind Training & Attitude Transforming wisdom texts: “The enemy, the crisis, the difficult to bear can be one’s best teacher, catalyst and inspiration.”
Through such difficulties we can learn the necessity and benefits of letting go of your old identity, encrusted with mind-forged manacles like seaweed and barnacles on an old ship’s hull, thus laying the groundwork for a new sense of self and possibilities. I call this The Pearl Principle: no inner irritation, no pearl (gets produced); this is explained in detail in my book Letting Go Of The Person You Used To Be.
Significant life changes are often times of doubt, anxiety, passionate energy, re-balancing and opportunity. The tension of this kind of “in between” time (bardo) is often colored by the sadness of letting go, the difficulty of living with uncertainty, fear of the unknown, the pain of being torn away from the familiar and comfortable, as well as an anticipation of new beginnings. So often we say we want and need to get out of our rut, feel stuck, stunted, and even trapped; but who’s genuinely ready, willing, and able to get out of their familiar, homey, cozy rut, leave the nest behind, and make the leap and fly?
Let’s try to detach from old roles and expectations. I use introspection, self-inquiry, and chod (“cutting, severing”) or feeding the inner demons, along with the gentler arts and practices of cultivating lovingkindness, self-compassion, acceptance and forgiveness, among my personal rituals in the journey of unease, change, completion, evolutionary passage and spiritual rebirth. Meditation, journaling, storytelling, the company of kindred spirits and small group sharing, all encourage enhanced intuition, deepening discernment, creative imagination, new perspectives, and forge new connections and intimate community (koinonia).
No one can do this all alone, and no one is exempt from participating in this interconnected, interdependent world.
